Photo by Selestadienne

Raising Boys Blog is back.  Sorry for the break.  I hope to get back into the routine of daily posts after a few weeks of distractions have passed.  So, on to my topic for the day… Fantasy Baseball.

I was a huge baseball fan until the time that I decided that swimming would be the sport I would focus on as an athlete.  Little did I know that Being a swimmer would turn into me being a swimming coach.  Fortunately, these experiences led me back to a place where I could renew my enjoyment of baseball as an athletic director.  I love sitting around the lunch table and chat about our high school team.  Baseball is really a series of struggles.  Struggles happen between players on separate teams, players on the same team, and players within their own mind.  I also love the history and mystique of baseball.  There are no greater stories in American sports than those of the likes of Jackie Robinson, Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Cal Ripken, and on and on and on. 

Photo By Wendi_Andrews

When I was 12 years old, I carried around in a little plastic box all of my Cincinnati Reds’ baseball cards.  Many of those names wouldn’t register on the average baseball fan’s player list, like Buddy Bell, Bo Diaz, and Ron Oester, but they do for me.  I loved the Reds when I was that age.  We used to go the games as an extended family consisting of my grandfather, each of his six kids, and all of their kids.  There was no better ice cream in the world than the frost malts at Riverfront Stadium.  One of my favorite memories growing up is listening to the games with my Dad.  If the Reds won, they would shoot off fireworks which I could see from my living room.  I would run from the radio, jump on the chair and look out the window to see the fireworks.  I saw my share of fireworks from that window because by 1990, the Reds had won the World Series.

Baseball was a gift that I shared with my Dad and my Grandfather.  I enjoyed playing catch with my Dad and being excited about my Reds.  This is something I want to share with my son.  We have been to a few Diamondbacks games but he is still a bit too young to appreciate baseball but it is not too early to plant the seeds, much to the chagrin of my wife. 

As I mentioned earlier, I got away from baseball due to my participation in other sports but I recently became interested in it again.  I signed up for a Fantasy Baseball league on ESPN.com and quickly renewed my interest in baseball.  I then realized that in a few years, Fantasy Baseball would be a great way for my sonand I to have conversations about baseball.  There are three teachers at my school that all love baseball and we have many times caught ourselves chattering about players when we should be supervising students.  What a great way for a father to share baseball with his son.  It can start out as a teaching tool about baseball and can turn into a friendly competition between two boys of summer.  The father-son relationship will undoubtedly change from the time your toddler grows up to be a man, but something like Fantasy Baseball can be something they can share forever.

So as I gear up for my first foray into fantasy baseball, I have only one thing to say.  Batter Up!!

Photo by Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton

The following article was written by my Uncle John about his recent experience making a hydroelectric dam with his 7th Grade boy.  John is the father of two boys and two girls.  He is one of three brothers to my mother and they did o good job of being my older brothers when I was little.  That means they generally terrorized me through trickery, tickling, and being sat on.  Sometimes they would even trick me into being sat on so they could tickle me.  That was the worst!!  It has been a few years since those days, but John and his kids still have Table Top Hockey Tournaments and I am pretty sure that John still has the parts to my Slot Car Set. Weren’t those the days, John?!? Anyway, here is John’s perspective about working on the science project with  his son.

The finished product

Reflections on a Science Project

The science project is over. The grading is complete. How was the experience for Danny? How was it for me? Tough questions.

When we started this project, I thought back to my 7th grade science project – The Steam Engine and How It Works. I still remembered the day of the presentations and the judging and winning 1st prize. But more importantly, I remember, like it was yesterday, how my dad helped me, guided me and taught me during the process. There was learning the physical jobs and techniques, such as soldering with a torch. But he showed me that sometimes you have to look beyond the obvious solution to a problem to get the results you want. For example, how do you get condensed milk out of the can you need for a steam turbine, without unsealing the top or bottom of the can. (You drill a hole in the side, and use the hole as part of the finished project.) To this day, I often think of that milk can lessonwhenI’m faced witha tough situation where the obvious solution isn’t necessarily the best solution. That’s the kind of experience I hoped to have with Danny.

The generator

Danny came to me with the idea that he wanted to build a hydroelectric dam for his project and see if different levels of water behind the dam would affect the amount of power produced at the generator at the bottom of the dam. This was a topic he had given some serious thought to. I was proud, make that VERY proud, to learn that he was inspired, in part, by my steam engine project. So that night we started planning what he wanted to do. There are a lot more instructions and rules to follow for a science project today than there were back when I made my project, so we had to get a lot of clarification from the teacher.

A large part of the experiment was to understand and follow the Scientific Method. This meant he had to propose a hypothesis for the experiment. He researched the hydroelectric dam, studied the electric generation process for the hypothesis. We drew sketches of how we would make it. We studied how a generator works and if we could make our own. He thought about how much water it would take. The wheels were turning in his head. I could see it. It was just as I hoped it would be – he wanted it to work.

The generator in action

The further Danny progressed in his research (and as I read along with him), I had the thought that this experiment might not produce the results he wanted. When I told him my concern, he looked at me and said, “That’s why we’re doing the experiment, Dad. It may not give us the results we expect, but it will give us results.” How often does a father get that kind of wisdom from his 13-year-old son? I was the one afraid of being disappointed about not getting the “right” answer. He was just looking for an answer. His insight and clarity of why we were doing this made the whole project all that much better.

So I had him do as much of the project as he could. He drilled. He caulked. He filled the bucket. He assembled the turbine generator. He learned how to use a voltmeter. He ran the experiment. He wrote the report. He presented the project to the class. He got the A+.

I like to think he had fun. I had a blast! I hope that if he gets to do a science project with one of his kids, he’ll look back on my involvement with the same gratitude that I have for my father.

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Speaking of Hockey…

This is the venue for the GFHL and the rink is the same rink we played on when I was a kid. Hard to believe that the parts are all still there. Can't be the same pucks, can it?

This is an addition that we didn't have back in the day but a great addition to be sure. Three of John's kids as well as one of their friends is on that scoreboard. What a great way for a family to bond!!

Photo by MissItNoonan

I sat here tonight and made a dozen excuses why I didn’t need to write an article.  I could read a book, drink a beer, or watch some pointless show on TV (it is Friday night).  Or worse, I could let my wife pick the show and I could pick my nose.  Either way, I could not think of anything to write and my motivation was not there either.  But, here I am, writing away.  How did this happen?

As I was coming up with excuse #12 (which was that I need to pick out lent that was between my toes) I realized why I am doing this blog in the first place.  This really does have a purpose and that is to be a better Dad and do a good job of raising a son.  And then to pass that knowledge on to you. 

One complaint that many women have with many men is that they don’t follow through.  I definitely hate it when someone doesn’t follow through on something they said they would do, and I do it all the time (not follow through that is).  Ask my wife how many times I said I was going to build something for the house and then how many times I actually did it.  You get the idea.

Simply put, in order to teach my son to be a dependable person and follow through on his promises, I am going to have to do that too.  Boys look to their fathers (or other males in their life) for this type of personality development and if I want my kid to be a certain way, I am going to have to model that.  He has already picked up on my habits of driving aggressively and talking to the other drivers on the road.  He even asked me why I called the guy in the other car an idiot.  Now, I sing a lot more in the car!!

So, in order for me to display the qualities of dependability to my son, I am going to have to follow through on my commitments and that is starting right here.  So here is my Friday night post!!  They will be here every night.

Photo by a la corey

I am currently reading Raising Boys by Stephen Biddulph and one if his mantras is that boys learn how to communicate with girls by watching the relationship between his mother and father.  In my attempt to help boys learn to communicate with girls, I am providing this list of common words that women use and the meaning behind them.  I wish I could say that this is my original work, however it is another one of those worthwhile forwards that have been circulating around the Internet.  Enjoy, learn, and pass the information on to every boy who finds girls a bit confusing.

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women ca n make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

Whatever

Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

Photo by Paul Dietrich

Choping wood is a very manly thing to do.  I remember when my Dad would chop wood in the side yard.  I would wonder if I would ever be able to draw that axe over my head and come down with enough force to get one log to splinter and fly in every direction.  When I got older, my Dad got a mechanized log splitter.  That thing was equally manly because it was man-made thing with lots of power splitting logs without needing to wipe the sweat off its iron brow.  I still wasn’t allowed to split logs with it because it could have split me in half if it wanted to.  Now, if you want a fire in your living room, you flip a switch that turns on the gas fireplace.

The moral of this story is that many of the things that used to make a man “manly” are really things that we don’t do a whole lot of.  Here are a few more activities done by a man’s man.

• Roping cows – Very manly, but not really done very often outside of the rodeo.  All the cows I rope I get from the grocery store.
• Sword Fighting – Again, very manly, but now we have to wear those white outfits and masks that look like the eyes of a fly.  I wouldn’t want to cut off an arm.  I may need that to flip the switch to turn on my fireplace.

So what does this have to do with raising boys?  Well, since chopping wood is outdated, and since it is hard to find cows to rope, and since we don’t want to chop off the legs of our boys, we have to find new ways to make our boys into men.

Sometimes I fear that my advice will come off as me wanting to turn boys into little hamsters stuck in a glass box.  That is the last thing I want to do.  I want us to teach this generation of boys the true meaning of manliness but I didn’t quite know how to say it.  Then I ran across this article: Boys to Men by Tony Woodlief.  It talks about the difference between harnessing the energy of boys instead of standing on it.

Here is an interesting quote from the article that really hit home for me:

Take it from a guy who used to bear hunt in his spare time

Maybe the problem isn’t that boys are aggressive, but that we’ve neglected their moral education. As Teddy Roosevelt wrote to one of his sons: “I would rather have a boy of mine stand high in his studies than high in athletics, but I would a great deal rather have him show true manliness of character than show either intellectual or physical prowess.” Manliness, then, is not the ability to survive in the wilderness, or wield a rifle. But having such skills increases the odds that one’s manly actions–which Roosevelt and others believed flow from a moral quality–will be successful.

What he is saying is that the essence of manliness (aside from B.O.) is in the way a man carries himself.  I can think of hundreds of ways a man can show his manliness that are actually applicable in everyday life (unlike sword fighting).  I ask that you all tell me what kinds of qualities makes a man a man and how to teach those qualities to our boys by leaving a comment on this post.  Now go rope some cattle and percolate some coffee over a campfire of logs you just chopped after winning your sword fight.

Photo by Tourism Queensland

This post may not be about raising boys but it is about adventure and finding a job to fit the kind of life you want to lead.  I enjoy being an athletic director and a biology teacher.  I enjoy being a blogger.  But what do you think I really want to be?

Jimmy Buffett!!

Alas, I have found a way that does not require me to play overly simplistic music with clever lyrics.  What job is that you ask?  Caretaker of the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef!!! 

What a cherry gig this one is.  This “position” requires that you live in a beautiful home on an island on the Great Barrier Reef.  You must travel around the islands and do activities and then report about it either through videos, photos, or blog posts.

The pay isn’t too bad.  AUD $150,000 will probably take care of the bills back home during this six month assignment.  That is equilivant to around $100,000 US Dollars.  I would also get to take my family with me and that is the best part.  I can go on an extended vacation with my family, get paid, and have a great experience to share for the rest of my life.

I can’t imagine a better way to spend time with my son.  No worries about going to the office, paying for daycare and all that other crap that we are forced to do.  Just hanging out with my son would be all I need.

In order to apply, I have to make a video of why I would be a great candidate.  I will upload my video here so you all can see it.  Do I have much of a chance to get the job?  Probably not but what do I have to lose?

Image by ALFRED BENWAY

Even though you are not allowed to refer to the “Big Game” by name if you are a member of the media, I am going to talk about the game here today. I want to discuss how to make the day where fathers fail at parenting more than any other day, myself included, better for your kids without missing anything big.

The game that the sports caster, first name John, last name rhymes with Aladdin, got in trouble for saying on Phoenix sports radio is today.  (Again, trying to avoid copyright and trademark infringement). 

Most fathers want to dissapear into a world where they do not have to pay attention to anything other than the tv, chips, and beer.  You used to be able to pay attention to your outside distractions during the commercials, but even that has gone by the wayside when advertisers put monkeys and hot women in the ads.  Now the only respite exhausted moms get is during the extended half time show.  But we can’t pull our eyes off of that anymore because there may be another wardrobe malfunction!  I think we may be safe this year but you never know!!!

Photo by Zé Rodrigo

So how do we give our wives a few downs of football enjoyment so they can at least go to the bathroom?  Take this opportunity to teach your son about the game.  What is cooler than a 4 year old who knows that the ballcarrier has to get past the yellow line before another round of excitement erupts in the living room?  Here are a few ideas on how to get your little guys interested in the football game and not pulling the dirt out of your neighbors potted plants.

1. Teach them the difference between a pass and a run.

A good friend of mine taught his daughter this lesson and she would predict, with about 60% accuracy, if it would be a throw or a pass.  Could she be the first female offensive coordinator?  Maybe, but she could sit through an entire West Virginia football game and that is no small feat.  Give it a shot with your kids.

Photo by nicepickcowher.com

2. On every big play when everyone is shouting and giving high fives, tell your boy to high five everyone in the room.

Not only does this get your boy in the manly spirit of the game, it will also give you the opportunity to run the the fridge and get another cold one.  I did this during the NFC Championships two weeks ago and all the guys there enjoyed that.  My son went to everyone in the room and high fived them.  He had to tug on some pant legs and tap some shoulders to get their attention, but he did it.

3. Encourage him to celebrate when big things happen.

Two weeks ago, my son would be off playing with something, but when he heard the ruckus, he ran in and jumped around and danced and fell on the floor.  He had no clue why we were cheering, but he played along.

4. Put him in the gear.

Nothing gets a kid ready for a sporting event than gearing up.  Give him a football to play with.  Put him in a jersey on game day and talk about watching the game.  Make it a big deal for the two of you and he will have a great time too.  Pick up some football gear at Amazon.com.

5. Just have fun.

We watch football because it is fun.  Our emotions swing with the momentum shifts of the game.  Big plays excite us and bad plays bring us down but the emotion of watching sports make it so much fun.  Keep the emotions in check so your son learns that despite the outcome, it is just a game.  Despite the outcome, we are going to wake up tomorrow and get ready for the NBA Season!!!

Enjoy the game and go Cards!!!  Sorry Steelers fans.  Please come back to my site…

Photo by play4smee

About 50% of the videos on Funniest Home Videos involve someone getting hit in the berries.  It is painful.  It is funny.  How do you deal with it when it happens to your son?

Last week at soccer practice, the little brother or one of my players was there.  He wanted to play and we were short, so I let him in.  We were playing a half field scrimmage and he was coming after the ball.  Another member of the team kicked it and it got him right in the cajones.  Myself and several other coaches saw it unfold.  I only wish we could watch it again on slow-mo over and over.  They could have only produced it better in the movie Dodgeball.

Photo by manjidesigns

The coaches were giggling on the periphery and the boys on the team were just howling.  The poor child was motionless on the ground, howling in a higher pitch than normal. 

The pain of being hit in the crotch is sever.  It hurts between the legs disabling the victim from walking.  Once that dysfunction has worn off, the pain migrates into your stomach.  It feels like you have to puke and poop at the same time.  Even though you can walk now, you still can’t fully stand up.  Your posture is about three humanoids down on the evolution chart.  From there, the pain slowly lets up and you can return to normal life.

Photo by Funadium

This poor child at soccer practice was not only in pain, but the high school boys were crowding around him and laughing.  Admittedly, I was laughing too until I realize that he was loudly sobbing.  Not only had he received a massive blow to his package, but his ego was also receiving the same punishment.  That 11 year old boy was hanging with the high schoolers and loving it.  And then he went down and he was embarrassed.

Anyway, I walked over to him, picked him up, carried him over to the picnic table and gently set him down.  He had these big tears welling up in his eyes and I felt really bad for him.  I told him that I knew how bad it hurts and assured him it would go away.  Then I asked him if he was embarrassed.  He said he was so I told him that every guy on the team had probably been hit in the nards and that he shouldn’t be embarrassed.  We have all been there.  Then I left him alone to dry heave until he felt better.  Getting hit in the nuts is traumatic both  physically and emotionally and you just have to give it time to heal

After a few minutes, he was back in the game.  What a trooper.  So the bottom line is that if your boy gets hit in the nutts, pick him up, dust him off, tell him it will go away and give him some time.   He will work it out.

Photo by raincoats_and_recipes

My wife picked up my son from school today and he was covered in dirt from head to toe.  Dirt on his shirt, in his shoes, on his knees, and everywhere else.  He had some paint on his shirt and a scratch on his chin. 

Some people would flip out that their kid was so dirty.  Fortunately, my wife is not one of them.  We love that he digs in the dirt and runs around scraping up his knees.  He is learning about the world and taking chances.  How much fun is that!

from Wikipedia

When I first started coaching swimming over the summer, I had a group of boys that were awesome.  They were fast and they were fun.  One of them in particular came to every practice covered in dirt.  Maybe that was why his parents had him swim.  He was just like Pig-Pen from Peanuts. 

That boy’s dirtiness was not why I enjoyed them so much.  It was their spirit.  They were free to have fun and play and goof off.  But, when it was time to get to work, those boys got it done.  And they were 8 year olds.  Somewhere in their support system, those boys were allowed to play in the dirt, jump off the swing at its highest point, and eat mud pies.  Video games and Ritalin are poor substitutes (Don’t think I don’t like video games, though) for playing war in the back yard and riding a bike around the neighborhood.

So please, take your kid to the local baseball field and roll him in the dirt.  Let him dig for crawdads in the creek.  Take him fishing and let him play with the worms.  He will love you for it.