Photo by play4smee

About 50% of the videos on Funniest Home Videos involve someone getting hit in the berries.  It is painful.  It is funny.  How do you deal with it when it happens to your son?

Last week at soccer practice, the little brother or one of my players was there.  He wanted to play and we were short, so I let him in.  We were playing a half field scrimmage and he was coming after the ball.  Another member of the team kicked it and it got him right in the cajones.  Myself and several other coaches saw it unfold.  I only wish we could watch it again on slow-mo over and over.  They could have only produced it better in the movie Dodgeball.

Photo by manjidesigns

The coaches were giggling on the periphery and the boys on the team were just howling.  The poor child was motionless on the ground, howling in a higher pitch than normal. 

The pain of being hit in the crotch is sever.  It hurts between the legs disabling the victim from walking.  Once that dysfunction has worn off, the pain migrates into your stomach.  It feels like you have to puke and poop at the same time.  Even though you can walk now, you still can’t fully stand up.  Your posture is about three humanoids down on the evolution chart.  From there, the pain slowly lets up and you can return to normal life.

Photo by Funadium

This poor child at soccer practice was not only in pain, but the high school boys were crowding around him and laughing.  Admittedly, I was laughing too until I realize that he was loudly sobbing.  Not only had he received a massive blow to his package, but his ego was also receiving the same punishment.  That 11 year old boy was hanging with the high schoolers and loving it.  And then he went down and he was embarrassed.

Anyway, I walked over to him, picked him up, carried him over to the picnic table and gently set him down.  He had these big tears welling up in his eyes and I felt really bad for him.  I told him that I knew how bad it hurts and assured him it would go away.  Then I asked him if he was embarrassed.  He said he was so I told him that every guy on the team had probably been hit in the nards and that he shouldn’t be embarrassed.  We have all been there.  Then I left him alone to dry heave until he felt better.  Getting hit in the nuts is traumatic both  physically and emotionally and you just have to give it time to heal

After a few minutes, he was back in the game.  What a trooper.  So the bottom line is that if your boy gets hit in the nutts, pick him up, dust him off, tell him it will go away and give him some time.   He will work it out.

Photo by candleshoe

I am currently reading the book Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph and very early into the book, I learned something very interesting about how the Lakota Indians brought boys into manhood. 

The first part is that once Lakota boys entered their teenage years, they went on a vision quest.  Now, this is not the drug frenzied, vagabonding, trip into the wilderness that many, including myself, believed it to be.  The boy is sent to a mountaintop to see their vision which was brought on by fasting.  The vision was meant to guide the boy through his life and was delivered by the spirits.

That’s not even the most interesting part.  Once they return from their vision quest, they were not allowed to make contact with their mothers for two years!!  Imagine being without your child for two years.  My wife can’t handle two days without our son.  The Lakota believed that if a boy of this age spent this time with their mother that they would never be able to go from being a boy to being a man.  During this time, the boy was with the other members of the tribe, socializing himself to how a man was expected to behave.  After the two years were up, there was a ceremony rejoining the mother with her son.  The difference is that he returned a man and behaved as such.

According to Biddulph, boys at the age of around 14 need to seek male mentors to move past the expectations of their mother and father.  Boys at this age are ready to branch out and learn new things from new people.  Biddulph also says that this may be the reason that boys and their fathers butt heads so much at this age but are so willing to listen to the advice of another man in his life.  Boys need strong mentors at this age which is why so many male coaches and teachers are valued. 

So, you may want to send your teenage boy to a mountaintop without food because they are driving you nuts, but you would be better off finding him some great mentors to spend time with.  You can let them help satisfy that teenage appetite.

Photo by raincoats_and_recipes

My wife picked up my son from school today and he was covered in dirt from head to toe.  Dirt on his shirt, in his shoes, on his knees, and everywhere else.  He had some paint on his shirt and a scratch on his chin. 

Some people would flip out that their kid was so dirty.  Fortunately, my wife is not one of them.  We love that he digs in the dirt and runs around scraping up his knees.  He is learning about the world and taking chances.  How much fun is that!

from Wikipedia

When I first started coaching swimming over the summer, I had a group of boys that were awesome.  They were fast and they were fun.  One of them in particular came to every practice covered in dirt.  Maybe that was why his parents had him swim.  He was just like Pig-Pen from Peanuts. 

That boy’s dirtiness was not why I enjoyed them so much.  It was their spirit.  They were free to have fun and play and goof off.  But, when it was time to get to work, those boys got it done.  And they were 8 year olds.  Somewhere in their support system, those boys were allowed to play in the dirt, jump off the swing at its highest point, and eat mud pies.  Video games and Ritalin are poor substitutes (Don’t think I don’t like video games, though) for playing war in the back yard and riding a bike around the neighborhood.

So please, take your kid to the local baseball field and roll him in the dirt.  Let him dig for crawdads in the creek.  Take him fishing and let him play with the worms.  He will love you for it.

Photo by graysonfamily

OK Dads and Sons.  We all know what a mess we would all be without Mommy around.  Piles of dirty clothes, eating Top Ramen every day and being late to everything would be just a few problems that would happen without her care and guidance. 

I can admit that I am a pretty big goof when it comes to things around the house, and though I don’t do it often enough, I try to show her my appreciation from time to time.  If I run to the store, I will sometimes pick up flowers or a little greeting card with puppies on it.  Pretty sappy stuff, I know.  But it lets her know that I am thinking about her and appreciate that she is my lovely wife and without her, I might not have gotten out of bed today.

So today, at the end of a busy day where my wife ran around Phoenix fighting traffic to get our son to me before she went to workout.  On our way home, we went past Target and I knew I needed to get a few things.  We ran into the store, got those items and then stopped at the greeting cards area.  He wanted to listen to the ones that play a song (Why Foreigner?), but we picked out some normal old cards to give to her.  So tonight when she got home, she got one from the both of us.  The fact that we did this together will teach him to be thoughtful of others.  It will help him score big points with the ladies

It is amazing how far a little acknowledgement goes.  My wife is really a super woman, minus the cape and tight spandex suit (which I have on order for her birthday).  She may not be saving the world, but she is keeping us down to earth!!  And we love her!

Photo By dolphingirl2009

Today my family took the next step into the communications revolution.  Skype and Webcams are the new tools of choice for us to talk to my parents back home.

You’re a Little Slow

Yes, I know.  Webcams have been around for quite some time and people have been using them for a while.  So, here is the back story.

My Dad can never seem to find a gift for my Mom for her birthday.  He called me and asked if he got us and her webcams, would I call her on it for her birthday.  Of course I said yes and four days later, I got a webcam in the mail from Amazon.  That night, I set it up and clandestinely called him to see if we could set up a time to test it out on Skype. 

Of course, Mom answered the phone so I slyly said “Hi Mom, can I talk to Dad real quick?  I have to ask him a question.”  She said that he already let the cat out of the bag.  And over a month before her birthday!! But I guess if you have that kick ass of a present, why wait?  He was proud of himself!!

The Big Unveiling

Of course, the whole idea was for her to get to see her grandson so I called them up, got connected and then chased him around the house so I could get him to our camera.  The experience turned out awesome.  My parents live on the other side of the country and get to see their grandson about twice a year.  I can say that my son’s performance on the call did not disappoint. 

He told them all about a book he read earlier in the day.  Something about Curious George riding a bike.  he was so excited we couldn’t keep up.  Then he sang a bit, got down ran around the house, got back up and chatted some more.  Then we had to say goodbye, so my Mom blew him a kiss.  Then he blew one back.  Then my Dad blew one and he blew one back.  So many kisses were blown that I thought the internet was going to clog.  Something about bandwidth comes to mind but we didn’t get to that point.  It was bath time. 

After bath, he came back, still wet, and blew some more kisses.  My wife got him dressed, he came back again, blew some more kisses and got to see my parents’ cat.  How cool is it for a kid, who already pretends to be a cat, to see a cat on the computer screen.   My Dad held up the cat to the camera, she gave a few meows, my son gave a few meows back and then came his final goodnight. 

All in all, I think the webcam idea was a hit.  Good job Dad!!  I can’t wait until the next call.  Who knows what they will talk about then.

The Primordial Soup

When I was a kid, I loved reading my uncle’s National Geographics.  My uncle would say it was because of the naked indigenous South Americans, but actually I loved looking at the pictures of the animals and the scenery.  As I got a little older, my Grandfather got me a subscription of my own, which he still renews to this day.  The most recent issue talks about evolution and, being a biology teacher, I can’t wait to take it to class.

From Four Legs To Two

This magazine is great to show your boys to help inspire their imagination and spirit of adventure.  I have seen boys play all day with plastic animals.  My little boy is already a zoo tycoon.  He takes his little plastic animals and builds cages for them out of his wooden blocks.  Today, he added a tour train and a carousel.  The Phoenix Zoo has those features.  Coincidence?  I think not!!

Opposable Thumbs

This year, we got a subscription to National Geographic for Little Kids.  Probably the coolest thing for him is that he actually gets something in the mail.  But the magazine features a specific animal and many of the articles and activities surround that animal.  Each issue comes with a few trading cards with different animals and other puzzles and such.  We really have fun with this little magazine.

Standing Upright

Of course, when your kid gets too old for the “Little Kids” edition, check out the “Kids” edition.  I have not yet seen this version of the magizine, but if it is anything like its father, and little brother, I will be picking it up in a few years for my son (and me).

Bigger Brains

So National Geographic has evolved from your grandaddy’s magazine to the magazine for the whole family.  Whats cool is that I can enjoy the “Big Kids” version while my son enjoys his “Little Kids” version.  Both of us are learning about our world and we are doing it together.  Can’t beat that!!

Photo by baonguyen

Many kids ask their parents where they were when major public events happened during their lives.  I used to ask my parents what they were doing when Kennedy was shot or when a man first walked on the moon.   I am excited about the innoguration of our first African-American President I am excited to tell my son about it when he asks those kinds of questions.  He will undoubtedly learn about it in history books and class discussions, but the feelings and excitement and emotions can only be understood by seeing it through the eyes of someone who experienced it.

My Grandfather was a soldier in World War II and no matter how many history books you read, you will never get the human story.  His telling of the fear in the eyes of the Frenchmen or of the rumors about the Nazis is so much stronger than the actual facts.  Holding a Nazi dagger or the pins from one of their uniforms is way better than looking at their pictures.  Don’t get me wrong, facts are important but the full story will never be known without the firsthand stories from those that experienced it.

My Father participated in some anti-war rallies and some civil rights rallies in the 60’s.  He went to college in rural Kentucky and some of his activities caught the attention of a few of the town’s more conservative folks.  The situation got tense enough that the college assigned him body guards.  I think that is when he knew it was time to move to the big “liberal” school in the state, the University of Kentucky.  Again, history classes talk about the civil rights movement and the anti-Vietnam War movement but the understanding really comes when the stories are told by those who lived them

In stark contrast to my Dad, my father-in-law was a firefighter on an Air Force Base in Vietnam.  One of the most interesting stories I heard from him was about a clash between him and a historian at a convention.  The historian said that everyone died that was on his base and he stood up and said “um… my buddy and I survived”.  The historian tried to say that my father-in-law was full of it except for the fact that my father-in-law’s picture was in the presentation.  I would say that is proof positive that not everyone was lost.

During my relatively short life, I have embraced the switch from paper and pen to keyboard and blog software.  I have witnessed first hand how globalization has changed the world.  I lived through the agony of 9/11 and now I am witnessing how America is continuing to heal one of its deepest wounds by placing an African-American in the White House.  I can’t wait to share those stories with my son.