Photo by Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton

The following article was written by my Uncle John about his recent experience making a hydroelectric dam with his 7th Grade boy.  John is the father of two boys and two girls.  He is one of three brothers to my mother and they did o good job of being my older brothers when I was little.  That means they generally terrorized me through trickery, tickling, and being sat on.  Sometimes they would even trick me into being sat on so they could tickle me.  That was the worst!!  It has been a few years since those days, but John and his kids still have Table Top Hockey Tournaments and I am pretty sure that John still has the parts to my Slot Car Set. Weren’t those the days, John?!? Anyway, here is John’s perspective about working on the science project with  his son.

The finished product

Reflections on a Science Project

The science project is over. The grading is complete. How was the experience for Danny? How was it for me? Tough questions.

When we started this project, I thought back to my 7th grade science project – The Steam Engine and How It Works. I still remembered the day of the presentations and the judging and winning 1st prize. But more importantly, I remember, like it was yesterday, how my dad helped me, guided me and taught me during the process. There was learning the physical jobs and techniques, such as soldering with a torch. But he showed me that sometimes you have to look beyond the obvious solution to a problem to get the results you want. For example, how do you get condensed milk out of the can you need for a steam turbine, without unsealing the top or bottom of the can. (You drill a hole in the side, and use the hole as part of the finished project.) To this day, I often think of that milk can lessonwhenI’m faced witha tough situation where the obvious solution isn’t necessarily the best solution. That’s the kind of experience I hoped to have with Danny.

The generator

Danny came to me with the idea that he wanted to build a hydroelectric dam for his project and see if different levels of water behind the dam would affect the amount of power produced at the generator at the bottom of the dam. This was a topic he had given some serious thought to. I was proud, make that VERY proud, to learn that he was inspired, in part, by my steam engine project. So that night we started planning what he wanted to do. There are a lot more instructions and rules to follow for a science project today than there were back when I made my project, so we had to get a lot of clarification from the teacher.

A large part of the experiment was to understand and follow the Scientific Method. This meant he had to propose a hypothesis for the experiment. He researched the hydroelectric dam, studied the electric generation process for the hypothesis. We drew sketches of how we would make it. We studied how a generator works and if we could make our own. He thought about how much water it would take. The wheels were turning in his head. I could see it. It was just as I hoped it would be – he wanted it to work.

The generator in action

The further Danny progressed in his research (and as I read along with him), I had the thought that this experiment might not produce the results he wanted. When I told him my concern, he looked at me and said, “That’s why we’re doing the experiment, Dad. It may not give us the results we expect, but it will give us results.” How often does a father get that kind of wisdom from his 13-year-old son? I was the one afraid of being disappointed about not getting the “right” answer. He was just looking for an answer. His insight and clarity of why we were doing this made the whole project all that much better.

So I had him do as much of the project as he could. He drilled. He caulked. He filled the bucket. He assembled the turbine generator. He learned how to use a voltmeter. He ran the experiment. He wrote the report. He presented the project to the class. He got the A+.

I like to think he had fun. I had a blast! I hope that if he gets to do a science project with one of his kids, he’ll look back on my involvement with the same gratitude that I have for my father.

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Speaking of Hockey…

This is the venue for the GFHL and the rink is the same rink we played on when I was a kid. Hard to believe that the parts are all still there. Can't be the same pucks, can it?

This is an addition that we didn't have back in the day but a great addition to be sure. Three of John's kids as well as one of their friends is on that scoreboard. What a great way for a family to bond!!

Photo by Jrg_ngoe

Tonight my son decided to make apple sauce and pea muffins out of his dinner. He put the peas in his applesauce, mixed it up, and dumped out his muffin. Usually, he likes muffins, but not this one. So, no dinner for him tonight.

We played around, took a bath, read some books and then he said his tummy hurt.  Imagine that.  So I asked him what he wanted to eat and he told me grapes.  I asked him how many and he told me five.  So I got him ten!!  He proceeded to tell me that was not five so I told him to count them.

He pointed to the first one and said “One, Two, Three, Four, Five, six, eight, seven, nine, ten!”  He was pretty much right, I gave him too many.  He ate all of them and asked me for five more.  This time I gave him five and he counted them again.  We played that game at least two more times before he had enough grapes.

It is funny how little kids want to learn so much that everything becomes an opportunity to learn.  Who knew that skipping dinner would turn into a chance to work on counting.  It was a lot of fun for both of us and he worked on his counting.  Next, we need to do calculus with Oreo Cookies!!

Photo by jcolman

My sophomore year of college at The University of Kentucky, I met a guy that ended up being one of my best friends in college.  He was my college roommate for the rest of his time at UK.  I needed another year to get out of there so my last year of school was without him!!

We all knew this guy would go on to do something impressive.  He was an outstanding student though his worst college grade came in an elective about dinosaurs.  I am thinking that most 8 year old boys could get an A in that class, but I probably would have done worse.  He graduated from UK with a Political Science degree and went out into the real world of politics.  While he was at UK, he was an intern for the Kentucky State Legislature, worked in the US Marshals office, was an FBI intern, and basically made it look like my 15 credits per semester was child’s play. 

He was always giving me crap about not spending the time I should have been studing and he was right.  He also called me a Yankee because I was from “Northern” Kentucky.  He was wrong about that.  The bottom line is that he was one of those positive influences that every parent hopes their kid will befriend although we managed to enjoy our college experience to say the least.

After undergrad, he went to DC and did some work for the Justice Department as a speech writer for Janet Reno (Republican as he is).  He called me one day and said that I have to watch Saturday Night Live that night but he wouldn’t tell me why.  That insider information got me to watch and what a treat it was to see the real Janet Reno on SNL. 

After working in DC, he returned home to UK and got his law degree, met a wonderful woman and I thought he would settle down in the bluegrass and pursue his political ambitions but next thing I heard was that he was off to the FBI training facility to become a federal agent.  While an agent, he even went off to Iraq to investigate something that if he told me about it, he would have to kill me.

Fortunately, he returned home with his life intact and his wonderful future unfolding before his eyes.  Soon, he and his wife had a beautiful little girl and they were settling into their life.  One day, I was looking on their family website and learned that something very tragic happened.  Something caused my friend to become paralyzed from the hips down and rendered him unable to walk.  A man who loved to run could no longer walk.

Fortunately, the stars aligned and he was able to find a clinic that could help him and it was in his beloved Bluegrass State.  He was put on the waiting list at the Frazier Rehab Institute and quickly was accepted.  Soon after packing up and moving to Louisville, I spoke to my friend on the phone:  he was very strong about the whole ordeal, just as I had expected he would be.  The one thing that got me was that he wanted to be able to chase his daughter around the house.  I don’t think that any mixture of factors could have provided more motivation for him than the thought of not being able to keep up with his little girl, and that really got to me.  I only knew him as a friend, not as a father; but I know how important getting back on his feet was for him because I wouldn’t want a life of watching my little boy grow up without chasing him through it.

So, I bring this story to you in hopes that if you have the means, you can help the rehab center that has helped my friend get back on his feet.  Below is a video of the Frazier Rehab Institute featuring Russell.  I am pleased to report that he has been able to pick up has daughter and I know that he and his family give a great deal of credit to the folks at Frazier.  We are all praying for you Russell, from AZ to DC and beyond.

Again, if you have the means to help the Frazier Rehab Institute, please visit the Red Carpet Bluegrass Event Celebrating the Frazier Rehab Institute.

Photo by Victorconsaga

It’s true.  Valentine’s Day is a day made for women.  But that does not matter.  Good men will remember to take care of their men.  Good Dads will also remember to have their boys get somethig for their mothers. 

This is a great opportunity to teach boys that it is important to make sure the women in their life know that they are loved.  It does not take much.  A homemade card or a little teddy bear from their little boy is all the boys need to do for their mom but it teaches those boys how to take care of their future wives and girlfriends.

Unfortunately, my son has a Dad that still has not done anything for the woman in their life.  Looks like we need to get to work!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

dot2dotmath.com

I found the following joke on jokes.com.  It is quite funny, quite true, but I would say to have your health, especially your mental health, evaluated by a doctor before starting any new diet plan.

The Miracle Toddler Diet – Guaranteed Results

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don’t get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there’s the new Toddler Miracle Diet.
Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!!

DAY ONE:

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.

Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.

Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.

Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO:

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.

Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half tube of “Pulsating Pink” lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.

Then bring inside and drop on rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

DAY THREE:

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.

After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.

Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY:

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Amazon.com

I recently finished reading “Raising Boys” by Stephen Biddulph and really enjoyed reading it.  I can’t say that there is anything that really just blew me away but many questions I have about boys are answered and that is worth the price of the book.

Three phases of boyhood

Probably the best piece of advice the book has to offer are the three phases of boyhood which are birth to six, six to 14, and 14 to adulthood.  Many phenomanon that I have wondered about or observed either through my own boy or other kids that I have coached or taught were answered with by these characteristics.

Photo by Jaywood_uk

One thing I have noticed about my two year old is that he always wants his Mommy and I am nothing more than chopped liver.  Rotten chopped liver to be precise.  Everyone assures me that this will pass and I am confident that someday soon, he will only want to hang out with me and then I can thumb my nose at my wife!  According to Biddulph, I will have to wait until he is six for that.  A boy’s mommy provides a safe and secure environment that makes makes a boy a momma’s boy.  And thats fine because he wants her to do about everything, including changing his dirty diapers!

When he turns six, he will want to start to learn all things manly according to Biddulph.  Good thing he has me.  I can burp and fart with the best of the men!  What that really means is he starts to watch how his father acts in situations, how his dad treats his mom, and wants to do everything like his daddy.  This is the time that he will learn his dads interests, good habits, and bad habits.  So if the dad sits on the couch and eats chips, that is what he will want to do.  I guess I am going to have to watch the chips, huh?

But that’s ok because when he turns 14, I can do whatever I want and he won’t notice!  When they turn 14, boys want to start modeling after other men.  They don’t get along well with their parents because they want to branch out and establish their independence.  This is why it is so important to find good men to be role models for your sons.  If they do not have responsible adult men to model themselves after, they will look to their peers and that is what gets boys in trouble.  For more information about that, see my post about the Vision Quest.

Tons of Advice

This book is filled with helpful advice on all sorts of topics from ADHD to chosing a boy friendly school.  It really is a great read.  perhaps that thing I took away the most from this book is how I can be a better teacher and coach at my school.  There are way too many people that give up on difficult teenage boys and that is the worst thing a male teacher can do because that will effect those boys.  Those boys need their male role models and a school is the best place to help mold those boys.  This knowledge has really given me a new sense of importance at the school where I work.

I definitely recommend that both mothers and fathers read this book.  There are sections written to mothers and other sections written to fathers.  It is an easy read and broken up into short sections so you can bite off small pieces of information at a time.  Enjoy!

Photo by Dalia topan

For those of you following along, I have just had one of the longest days this year for my family.  That is not supposed to happen on a Sunday but it did and I am going to tell you about it and provide some updates to previous posts.

Dream Job

I believe I wrote in My Dream Job that I was going to post my application video since I had time to work on it this weekend.  Well, that time flew right by as we sat in pediatric urgent care with my son.  Last week we took him to the doctor for a fever and sore throat. 

Photo by Fiona Ayerst

Turns out he had Strep Throat and that he would get better after a day of Amoxicillin.  That he did!!  He was ready to go on Friday.  My wife even took him to the dirt lot on the end of the subdivision where he played for quite some time.  Then on Saturday, he went to his normal Little Gym meeting and ran around town.  We were planning on going to the Phoenix Zoo with a neighbor but we decided against it because we were worried it would be too much.  Turns out it was a good call.

Today, my son woke up with a fever.  We gave him some tylenol and he perked up pretty soon.  We met an old friend for lunch and while we were there he got worse.  He actually fell asleep in his mommy’s arms.  She put him down on the booth seat and he slept for about an hour.  If you knew my son, you would know that that is as far from his personality as it gets.  Usually it is everything we can do to keep him in a seat when we go out. 

We got home and checked his temperature; it was 102.  That is pretty high so we took him to urgent care.  Turns out that the drugs were not powerful enough and we got on something new as well as a mega dose of Tylenol and Motrin.  When we got him home he was ready to go.  He finally had a good meal and a good bathtime.  And then a great bedtime!!  So the bottom line is that my plans of making my video were crushed by my son’s stubborn Strep Throat.

I Love Books by Weaping Willow

Nightstand

I have added a new section to my site.  It can be found at the top of the page right under the title of the blog.  It is called the Nightstand and talks about the books that I have on my nightstand.  At this point, there are only two books but I promise that I have read more than that!!  I actually have a stack of books that are in my queue.

After writing my post Boys to Men – Tony Woodleif, I was contacted by my high school English/Literature teacher.  He asked me if I had heard of the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling.  He said it was a poem about the qualities of man and would be a good follow up to that post.  I told him I had not heard of it and decided to find out more. 

It turns out that it was one of those poems that I have heard hundreds of times because the words are so meaningful that it is quoted again and again.  I am certainly no poetry critic, or a writing critic.  I am actually only my own critic!!  When I read this poem, I felt it was perfect for this site.  Thanks Mr. Chuck!!

The complete poem is quoted below.  Thanks to Swarthmore College for making it available on the web. 

oldpicture.com

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!
          –Rudyard Kipling

As I said at the beginning of the post, I did not recognize this poem by name or author but I recognized it as soon as I read the first line.   The poem does not list virtues such as honor and bravery, but it suggests that a man is one who handles situations in a certain way.  Over the next few weeks, I will be dissecting this poem into its stanzas and discussing what those stanzas say, examples from my own life, and what we can do to teach our boys these qualities.  Please join me

Photo by MissItNoonan

I sat here tonight and made a dozen excuses why I didn’t need to write an article.  I could read a book, drink a beer, or watch some pointless show on TV (it is Friday night).  Or worse, I could let my wife pick the show and I could pick my nose.  Either way, I could not think of anything to write and my motivation was not there either.  But, here I am, writing away.  How did this happen?

As I was coming up with excuse #12 (which was that I need to pick out lent that was between my toes) I realized why I am doing this blog in the first place.  This really does have a purpose and that is to be a better Dad and do a good job of raising a son.  And then to pass that knowledge on to you. 

One complaint that many women have with many men is that they don’t follow through.  I definitely hate it when someone doesn’t follow through on something they said they would do, and I do it all the time (not follow through that is).  Ask my wife how many times I said I was going to build something for the house and then how many times I actually did it.  You get the idea.

Simply put, in order to teach my son to be a dependable person and follow through on his promises, I am going to have to do that too.  Boys look to their fathers (or other males in their life) for this type of personality development and if I want my kid to be a certain way, I am going to have to model that.  He has already picked up on my habits of driving aggressively and talking to the other drivers on the road.  He even asked me why I called the guy in the other car an idiot.  Now, I sing a lot more in the car!!

So, in order for me to display the qualities of dependability to my son, I am going to have to follow through on my commitments and that is starting right here.  So here is my Friday night post!!  They will be here every night.

Photo by a la corey

I am currently reading Raising Boys by Stephen Biddulph and one if his mantras is that boys learn how to communicate with girls by watching the relationship between his mother and father.  In my attempt to help boys learn to communicate with girls, I am providing this list of common words that women use and the meaning behind them.  I wish I could say that this is my original work, however it is another one of those worthwhile forwards that have been circulating around the Internet.  Enjoy, learn, and pass the information on to every boy who finds girls a bit confusing.

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women ca n make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

Whatever

Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.