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I recently finished reading “Raising Boys” by Stephen Biddulph and really enjoyed reading it.  I can’t say that there is anything that really just blew me away but many questions I have about boys are answered and that is worth the price of the book.

Three phases of boyhood

Probably the best piece of advice the book has to offer are the three phases of boyhood which are birth to six, six to 14, and 14 to adulthood.  Many phenomanon that I have wondered about or observed either through my own boy or other kids that I have coached or taught were answered with by these characteristics.

Photo by Jaywood_uk

One thing I have noticed about my two year old is that he always wants his Mommy and I am nothing more than chopped liver.  Rotten chopped liver to be precise.  Everyone assures me that this will pass and I am confident that someday soon, he will only want to hang out with me and then I can thumb my nose at my wife!  According to Biddulph, I will have to wait until he is six for that.  A boy’s mommy provides a safe and secure environment that makes makes a boy a momma’s boy.  And thats fine because he wants her to do about everything, including changing his dirty diapers!

When he turns six, he will want to start to learn all things manly according to Biddulph.  Good thing he has me.  I can burp and fart with the best of the men!  What that really means is he starts to watch how his father acts in situations, how his dad treats his mom, and wants to do everything like his daddy.  This is the time that he will learn his dads interests, good habits, and bad habits.  So if the dad sits on the couch and eats chips, that is what he will want to do.  I guess I am going to have to watch the chips, huh?

But that’s ok because when he turns 14, I can do whatever I want and he won’t notice!  When they turn 14, boys want to start modeling after other men.  They don’t get along well with their parents because they want to branch out and establish their independence.  This is why it is so important to find good men to be role models for your sons.  If they do not have responsible adult men to model themselves after, they will look to their peers and that is what gets boys in trouble.  For more information about that, see my post about the Vision Quest.

Tons of Advice

This book is filled with helpful advice on all sorts of topics from ADHD to chosing a boy friendly school.  It really is a great read.  perhaps that thing I took away the most from this book is how I can be a better teacher and coach at my school.  There are way too many people that give up on difficult teenage boys and that is the worst thing a male teacher can do because that will effect those boys.  Those boys need their male role models and a school is the best place to help mold those boys.  This knowledge has really given me a new sense of importance at the school where I work.

I definitely recommend that both mothers and fathers read this book.  There are sections written to mothers and other sections written to fathers.  It is an easy read and broken up into short sections so you can bite off small pieces of information at a time.  Enjoy!